


What Happens When I Neglect My Muses for Too Long

by femme4jack



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Claustrophilia, Confinement, Constriction, Drunkenness, Medical Kink, Multi, Size Difference, Size Kink, Sticky Sex, Truth or Dare, Voyeurism, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:55:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1461649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femme4jack/pseuds/femme4jack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikaela snorted in disbelief.  "You are so drunk."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slagging Hot

**Author's Note:**

> **Content: drunken confessions, voyeurism, robots getting it on in a sticky manner, and totally consensual, raunchy size-kinky sticky xenophilia and claustrophilia (thank you Bears and Mini for the word suggestion!) Mentions canonical hatchlings and a human baby.**
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> _I have no idea what this is. An image popped into my head (back in January) in the middle of the night, and suddenly I had to write xeno porn for the first time in nearly 9 months. But then my long neglected muses reminded me that lots has been going on for them in the past year and THEY NEEDED TO SHARE ALL OF IT RIGHT NOW THANK YOU. If you want people to get it on, don't ever let a mom start talking about her toddler or Optimus start asking questions or giving speeches about anything. But anyhow, here it is, up to the point where I got too busy to write again. Drunken confessions, raunchy, xeno porn with angst and fluff and lots of talking mixed in. Set post TF 2011. Maybe we can pretend it is a sticky Aegis AU or something. All the same basic changes I almost always make: everyone is alive and Optimus is wonderful and perfect rather than a genocidal madmech. And unfinished, like usual. But I'm really gonna try hard to get to the xeno part. And the porn part. Yeah. On an unrelated note, thinking of changing my pen name to OFA Priestess (as in Order of First Aid Priestess) because I have some sort of delusional belief that changing my name will help me write again. So don't say I didn't warn you._

"That's… slag…"

"Primus… that's…"

"Really disgusting?" Mikaela finished their statements, face buried in her hands. Why, WHY did the slaggers' trips to Mars always have to involve getting drunk together And whose idea was truth or dare?

"No!" Ratchet quickly said. "No… it's… oh, Vector Sigma, I need another drink."

"What Ratchet's trying to say is that it's slagging hot, that's what it is," Ironhide said, taking another long drink of his green-glowing cube with a grunt of satisfaction as the charge hit him just right. "Hot enough to melt my diodes."

"You're serious." Mikaela peered from between her fingers, but didn't meet either mech's optics, her face flushed from far more than the alcohol. 

"Primus," Ratchet muttered again, and Mikaela felt the tingle of an intrusive scan. "Oh Primus, it would work. I'd have to monitor the autonomic responses and make some fluid adjustments to keep you from getting injured… probably take motor functions offline completely just to be safe…"

"Hot. As. Slag." Ironhide muttered again, his canons spinning up with excitement and charge. "Can't wait to teek his fields when we tell him."

"If you EVER tell him, I swear to God, Ironhide, I will stuff one of Dani's poopy diapers between your seats so far you won't find it without major surgery." Mikaela slammed her beer down for emphasis, hard enough to send foam bubbling over the top and down the sides.

"Probably reroute a few circuits just to be safe…" Ratchet continued to mutter, still scanning her in every manner possible.

"And why the frag not?" Ironhide growled. "Hottest thing I've heard suggested in over a megavorn."

"And Primus knows he needs it," Ratchet added. "You humans, even ones as forthright and enlightened as you, are ludicrously hung up about such things. He would not be offended in the least."

"I. Would. Die. Of embarrassment. And then I would kill you both." 

"That event is unlikely in the extreme. More likely you would do something quite enjoyable for all parties involved."

" 'specially the ones watching. Hot as a slagging supernova." Ironhide finished off another cube, and then maneuvered his massive form up from the floor in a hiss of hydraulics and groan of joints. Blue flickers visibly danced along his armor.

Both Ratchet and Mikaela found themselves staring at him as the huge mech bent forward and unceremoniously planted his torso on the medical berth, his pede stabilizers wide apart, aft sticking up in the air. His pelvic plate began to retract, and like always he had to reach down and give his thigh a bang when it got stuck halfway. 

Mikaela snorted in disbelief. "You are so drunk." She quickly finished off her own half-spilled beer and popped open another -- Ratchet's own creation, just like the high grade. All the fun, none of the health dangers or hangovers. Except for dying of mortal embarrassment after telling her newest secret fantasy to a couple of dirty old mechs.

"Idea's got me all charged up," Ironhide rumbled, and with a shrug retracted various weapons, kibble and armor plates to give Ratchet better access. "So slagging hot."

Ratchet spat out something in Cybertronian. Likely a curse. Then he stood as well, armor adjusting and pelvic panel retracting as he braced his arms on the berth on either side of the overcharged cannon-on-legs.

They both turned their helms down to look at her expectantly. 

"Fraggers," she muttered, scrambling under the berth where she'd have the best view. Watching and being watched. The horny old bastards were totally predictable and without any shame ever since they'd figured out her obsession. 

And now they had a new obsession they wanted to see. She'd never hear the end of it. 

At least she could drown her mortification in the sounds of rhythmic hydraulics, the clash of armor, the distinctive lubricated slide, and the rumbles and groans that went right through her. And the view from below really was "slagging hot", especially with Ratchet helpfully aiming several lights in just the right angles.


	2. Not Very Hot (because Optimus is making speeches and it is hard to porn when that happens)

"Hello, Mikaela Banes," Optimus said as he stepped through the space bridge from his latest visit to Cybertron.

"Optimus! How was the trip?" Mikaela called out as she keyed in the shutdown sequence into the control panel a hundred meters across the dome.

"Challenging, but satisfying as well," Optimus answered, his broad steps swiftly covering the distance. "Megatron is remaining true to the spirit -- if not all the terms -- of the treaty. And despite a high level of animosity, the former Autobots, Decepticons and Neutrals who have chosen to participate are making great progress. And how have you and Daniella fared since I last inquired?"

Optimus knelt down to speak with her more closely, giving her, as he always did, his complete attention and regard no matter how many other communications were taking place over comms or through the Teletran network. Even having been gone for nearly a year, he seemed in no hurry.

"Doing great. God, I can't believe she's already two. Growing like a weed, get's into trouble faster than Bee goes from zero to sixty. You're right about the Protectobots, though. Best set of extra parents a mom could ask for. I feel almost guilty, how easy they make it for me."

Optimus chuckled. "As your people say, 'it takes a village'. The fact that her village consists of some of the best of both of our species bodes well for her future, regardless of any trouble now. And your position? Do you continue to find it satisfactory?"

Mikaela's grin widened. "It's great. The medical training is amazing and hard, as always. But First Aid is an awesome teacher. The rest… well, it's challenging, but you know me, wouldn't want anything boring. Besides, I know how to handle them."

"I can only imagine that many of our new arrivals, whatever their former faction, are far more difficult to orient than the Protectobots were, not to mention training hatchlings to relate well with humans. But whether new arrival or hatchling, understanding the importance of our relationship with your species, and the nature of our shared venture here on Mars is of utmost importance. I deeply appreciate the sacrifices you have made to make this a home for your family, Mikaela."

Mikaela shrugged and looked down, grinning with a mixture of pride and embarrassment. Optimus's mini speech went straight to her core. After this many speeches, shouldn't a gal get used to being praised by a voice made of chocolate-covered-sex?

"Not like it's any sacrifice, Optimus. I really couldn't ask for a better life for Dani. And for me."

Optimus leaned even closer, optics regarding her with warm intensity.

"I find it most satisfying to see you well and happy, Mikaela. And seeing our species living together in harmony and partnership gives me great hope. Now I must extend my apologies," he said, standing with more grace than anything his size had a right to move. "Ratchet has been screaming at me over the comms to report to Medical ever since I arrived, and I fear if I put him off any longer, he will come and collect me himself in the most unpleasant manner possible."

"Well, maybe if you didn't 'spar' with Megatron to settle negotiation disputes he wouldn't be so worried," she chided, her hands on her hips.

Optimus chuckled deeply as he took a step back, preparing to transform. "Are you remaining here? Or may I offer you a ride to Metroplex so we can continue our conversation?" He asked just before his plating and parts shifted in a million directions, settling into a distinctly new alt -- powerful, yet more compact, with far sleeker lines, wheels glowing and no longer even remotely earthly-looking.

"I'm not on duty. Just pulled rank to greet you. A year's a long time for a human. And a trip on the top side with you definitely beats the underground transport."

"Then I am doubly honored to both be greeted by you and to offer you a ride. Perhaps your presence will shield me from Ratchet's wrath," Optimus said as a portal-like door irised open into a glowing compartment somewhat back from where his truck-cab would have been.

...Reminding her of something else that she'd seen iris open recently, lit from within by the glow of biolights and writhing sensor cilia.

Oh God.

"My apologies, Mikaela. Is my new form alarming? I had not considered the impact that returning to my original alt form might have on those accustomed to how I appeared on Earth."

"No, NO. It's great. You look great. You're great… sorry." Mikaela hastily climbed up the foot and handholds that had appeared along with the door, wondering when she started channeling Sam Witwicky's communication skills. She slid into the cab, noting that it had just enough space for her, though it likely could be modified. Somehow, it's size and appearance made it even more vividly clear that she was _inside_ of Optimus. The seat shifted and conformed to her body, wrapping itself partly around her shoulders and thighs to hold her secure -- like some sort of super intelligent body-hugging memory foam. Distinctly warm memory foam. Made up a living being.

Cables, sheathed in the same material, wrapped around her. A shiver ran along her spine all the way to her toes, making her squirm. Oh God, her drunken confession the night before was already getting her into trouble. Now she couldn't _not_ think about it.

"Is that too confining?" Optimus inquired, concern lacing his voice. "Your respiration rate is still elevated."

"NO… no. It is fine. Just different. I like it. Nice and safe.. here… inside you… your cab. So, tell me more about Cybertron. Have you finalized the plan?" she changed the subject quickly as Optimus exited the dome that enclosed the space bridge, accelerating swiftly as they headed across the rust colored landscape toward the sheer, deep canyon in which Metroplex resided

"Hmm, Megatron and those with him are working first to restore Iacon as a refuge for any who remain or return. It's located in the Northern Hemisphere and was less damaged by the collapse of the singularity due to it's location and the fact that much of it is so solidly shielded beneath the surface. They have made great progress in that regard, especially now that the space bridge is stable and materials and energon can be sent from this system more swiftly. Once Iacon is fully secure and equipped for the move, we can use the pillars to transport Cybertron to the Alpha Centauri system, which Skyfire and Starscream have determined to be fully lifeless. There we will harvest the smaller of the binary stars to reignite Cybertron's core, and use the ongoing solar energy of the larger star and materials from the asteroid belts to greatly escalate the rebuilding."

"What is the time frame on that?"

"Cybertron should be your closest inhabited neighbor in three to four hundred years."

"Too long for me," Mikaela said wistfully. "I'd love to see your world… under better circumstances, that is."

"And I would greatly enjoy showing you, especially now that it is healing from war. Far more work will need to be done, I fear, before portions of Iacon could be fit for human visitors. Colonial Cityformers such as Metroplex are rather unique when it comes to their abilities to create habitable living spaces for such a wide variety of lifeforms…"

"... And it's more important that Cybertron be made habitable to those who call it home, first," Mikaela finished, glad for the distraction, but still not nearly distracted enough, held so close and firm inside Optimus as they sped along the road.

"So tell me more about Dani. Am I to assume I missed her first steps?"

"Not by much." Mikaela laughed in relief. Launching into Dani stories would definitely help keep the moisture content of her panties under control. "She walked late, probably because she had so many different mechs who always transported her wherever she wished. But I swear that she went straight to running, and now, as soon as I turn my head, she's gone, yelling for whoever her current favorite is. Last week it was Hot Rod, and I swear, that hatchling is almost as much trouble as she is. Not that he'd ever be reckless with her… just all the rest of the time. Personally, I think she likes the wild color scheme he's sporting now that his chromatophores have come in. You'll like him -- he's got a flame job." She playfully jabbed the panel in front of her.

Optimus chuckled around her, and did the seat just squeeze her tighter? "This universe may go cold before I live that down. So who is Dani's favorite this week?"

"Oh, well, this week that would be Bumblebee. He brought her dad and his fiancé on a visit on the same shuttle as Ironhide and Ratchet."

Definitely a distracting topic as they approached the ramp that would plunge them into a steeply descending tunnel which ended at the base of Metroplex's brightly glowing canyon.

"Ah. Is this the first--"

"Time he's met her? Yep."

"Hmm. And how are you faring with that?"

Mikaela sighed hard, leaning her head against the window as the lights of the tunnel flashed by, her ears popping from the descent. God, Optimus was good. Not pushy, but, like always, managing to both open her and read her like a book. It made her wonder just how much else he read.

"I'm still angry, if that's what you're asking. But it was never my intention that she not have a relationship with her dad, despite the fact that I moved to a completely different planet. I've had Blaster send regular updates to Bee for him. Sam's never once responded. Not so much as a birthday or Christmas gift. I get it, I guess. He wasn't ready to be a dad, wanted me to choose, and I chose her. Part of me's still bitter, but how could I ever regret the direction my life's taken since I walked away? Even if you'd never rolled up after Chicago, and I was still just fixing bikes -- Dani'd be worth it."

"I continue to be confused that the same brave young man who has thrice saved his own world could be so frightened when it comes to commitments that had the potential to bring him great happiness. But I am pleased he is finally taking an interest."

"I'm not so sure about that," Mikaela looked out the window as Optimus slowed. Now on the canyon floor, he drove toward a platform descending to greet them from the city proper -- honeycombs and spires and domes built into the canyon wall like some futuristic, glowing Anasazi cliff dwelling. Some of the structures were made from the iron-rich rocks of Mars itself, subsumed and shaped by Metroplex. And unlike the rest of the planet, nothing Metroplex was in contact showed a hint of rust.

"I think maybe Carly and Bee made him come, though that's probably just me being bitter. He'll be on his best behavior, regardless. Dani's got a whole lot mechs here who think of her as a youngling assigned to their cohort, and Bumblebee might as well be another dad. She's got a great big family here."

"As do you," Optimus said as he slowed to a halt on the platform, which swiftly took them upward to the main level. "Greetings, Metroplex," Optimus said aloud as he drove off the platform and through the the shimmer of shielding that held in the artificial atmosphere.

"Greetings, Optimus Prime and Mikaela Banes," Metroplex's soft, androgynous voice replied through Prime's internal speakers. "I have been instructed to inform you that Ratchet is waiting for you in medical and would like for you to proceed there without any delays," Mikaela was sure she heard a hint of amusement in Metroplex's voice. "I therefore will inquire about your time on Cybertron at a more convenient time."

"That would be wise, Metroplex. I will admit that I look forward to that conversation far more than the lecture I'm sure to receive."

"You'll notice he did not say that he didn't earn earn a scolding," Mikaela stage whispered.

"Cityformers reserve judgement on such matters," Metroplex replied gravely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess what Mikaela's fantasy is yet? 
> 
> And I'm sorry I'm so hard on Sam. I just... I liked him the first movie, and then he totally drove me nuts, and I can't seem to help myself, especially when writing self-indulgent Mikaela porn.


End file.
